(Marcado de por vida) El Joker's change of heart

EL JOKER CAMBIO DE CORAZÓN

CAPÍTULO ?

There was something different about Joker. I could feel it. He didn't talk to me, really, he didn't talk much to anyone. It was as if he was hiding from something. He drew back from all of us.

One day, at morning when we had nothing to do for the moment, we sat by the river we used to sit by pulling the grass out off the ground or throw rocks in to the water. Today we did nothing like that. We just sat there as if we were waiting for something to happen right in front of our eyes. Like, maybe the whole river would catch fire or something, just something...
“What's up?” I asked him. I couldn't stand the silence and I had a hard time sitting still for too long.
“Not much Chico.”
We began talking about nothing really, about the weather about what we thought Diablo would make us do today, what we would do for the rest of the week, if anything special would happen.

Then he said:

“Have anyone told you the story of The crazy brother´s of El Salvador?”

I shook my head.

“No.”

“No? You wanna hear?”

“Sure.”

"They'll be the end of you Chico.”

“Try me.”

Joker laughed at my hopeless.

“Okay. But promise me you won't go looking for him or something else stupid like trying to be like him.”
I shrugged my shoulders.

“Oye. The crazy brother's of El Salvador consisted of two brothers. Okay?”

“Mhm.”

“They were El Soldado and Arcangel. El Soldado was the older brother and Arcangel the younger.”

I nodded.

“And El Soldado is the father of all maras. You know that, right?”

“Yes.”

“Together the brothers ruled the MS-13 community, not only here in El Salvador, but in the Honduras, Guatemala, Costa Rica. Even New York in America. El Soldado and Arcangel were the most powerful duo you could ever imagine, they were like the Godfathers' of Central America, like freaking Vito Corleone.” He gestured with his hands in the air. “I was just a kid when they controlled these streets but I still remember the fear they put in all Salvadorans. You didn't dare to say their names because you thought they would kill you. I almost shit my pants when I thought about it. I mean, they were the real deal Chico. There was no idea to go against them because then there was nothing else to do but arrange your own funeral. They literally killed anyone who got in their way. They were real maras.”

I could only sit back and think “wow, there were gangsters like this? Why hadn't my brother ever talked about them? In comparison to this Diablo and El Maquina seemed small and meaningless. Joker gave me a push.

“Hey, don't get too carried away by this okay? I can see it in your eyes.”

I looked at him.

“Those eyes will never be able to lie to anyone.” He said. “Anyway, the two put major fear in all of us and killed whoever they liked, they weren't picky. They were having the time of their lives, living la vida loca. But then El Soldado decided to go America and recruit more people from New York. But he ended up settling down there, maybe he liked the idea of being the boss of the gangs in the US more than the gangs here in poor Centroamerica? Anyhow, Arcangel felt confused over his brother's decision and felt, perhaps, deceived? They say blood is thicker than water but Arcangel didn't give a fuck about all that, he started hating on his brother and his rage colored the streets of San Salvadora red. Now we really feared for our lives.”

I pictured it before me. The streets filled with blood. Dead bodies stacked on top of each other. Flies everywhere. People staying inside their houses for days not able to sleep, scared to death because all they could think about was the slayers out there who didn't spare anyone.

“Then the war of gangs broke out. It was us against them, the chavalas. It was killing twenty-four hours a day. Neither of us gave up, only one could win, right?”

I nodded.

“Then the real turning-point came. It was revealed that the crazy brothers' were actually sons to the chief of police in San Salvador. Talk about putting shame on the pigs.” Joker laughed. “Can you believe it Chico? Those every man and woman had put their faith in to solve this problem weren't any better than the dogs out there.” He had to wipe his eyes because he was crying from laughter. “Isn't it the funniest thing ever? The police chief – the father of two mass murderers. It doesn't get any better than this.”

“And El Soldado? Did he come back?”

“Well...”

Heavy footsteps approached us from behind. Joker glanced at me. His eyes were like: “Don't tell anyone, okay?”

“Joker. Chico. What are you doing?” Cuchillo said.

Joker picked up a small rock from the ground and threw it in to the river.

“Nothing.” He said.

“Diablo wants you back at the house.” Cuchillo said, then added. “Playtime's over.”

Joker snorted with a twisted smile.

“I'll pretend I didn't hear that.”

We both stood up. I whispered to Joker when we followed the gorilla back to the house.

“Promise me you'll tell the rest of the story later.”

Joker chuckled quietly, but then something in his eyes changed. It was that look again. I don't know how to describe it. It was as if he was hiding something from me, like he was holding something back.

A few days later we went back to the river again. It was early morning and the sun had just settled on the sky.

“I promised you the rest of the story, right?”

I nodded.

“Okay. So El Soldado came back to San Salvador after he'd heard what his brother had done. You know, rumors spread so fast in our world. There's no way we can keep anything from each other. Once you've told someone you've told them all...”

He looked down at the ground.

“But with you Chico, it's different.” He grabbed a handful of grass and pulled it up from the ground. “You're not the typical mara. I noticed that the day you arrived. You didn't fit in. You weren't as bloodthirsty as all the others before you.”

I glanced at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I know secrets are of no use in this place. But... could you keep a secret for me?”

I thought about it for a minute or two. He looked more nervous the more I stayed quiet.

“Okay.” I finally said. “I can keep a secret for you.”

He leaned over to me.
“I have a family, Chico. I have a little niña. She's only a few month old. I'm telling you this because you're the only one I can trust. I hope I can.” Our eyes met. “I don't know what to do... I'm so confused. My girlfriend wants me to leave this place, if I don't she'll leave me. I can't.... I want to be with my daughter.”
“What's her name?” I said.
“Sophia.” He pulled out a photograph from his jeans pocket and handed it to me.
I smiled.

“She's beautiful. But she doesn't look anything like you. You sure she's yours?”

I tried not to laugh but eventually that was all I could do. He hit me in the back of my head and withdrew the photo from my hand. Then he too began laughing.
Our eyes shifted to the river again. The morning air was already getting warmer.
“I've been here for almost 10 years now. This is all I know. I grew up here. El Maquina, may he rest in peace, taught me everything I know of how to be a man. I owe him everything. He raised me in a way my parents couldn't. He gave me shelter and taught me how to survive... But I've come to realize this is not my kind of place. I always wanted to do something different with my life. I want to become a teacher. I want to show children and youngsters there is another way then the gang's way. I want to build a house and I want to live in it with my family. And I want a son so I can teach him to play football. I want to hold my wife at night without having to tell her she doesn't have to be afraid of what will happen to me.”

At that moment I didn't yet know what happened to those who wanted to walk away. Those who wanted to leave the Mara Salvatrucha lifestyle. But Diablo would teach me and he would use one of his own soldiers as an example.

- God natt